Label: Radio Beat Records - RB 009 • Format: Vinyl LP, Compilation Grey Marbled • Country: US • Genre: Rock • Style: Rock & Roll, Punk, Garage Rock, Deathrock
New ones are still being posted in Vol. An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard walked up to him and asked, what the hell is going on? One afternoon, a representative for a condom company was on her way to an international condom convention.
While rushing through the busy airport, she dropped her briefcase carrying her samples, scattering condoms across the floor. She noticed passersby looking at her as she quickly tried to stuff all of the condoms back into her briefcase.
Round is a shape. An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. Mitch Hedberg I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. Ambrose Bierce Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Kin Hubbard A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? Cornelius Plantinga, Jr. It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Does it have to be that way? We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs. Ted Nugent If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it.
Then it will be managed — like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese. Russell Baker It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Jim Davis Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. Jon Stewart I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way.
I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Johnny Carson Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.
People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. Anonymous May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs! Q: How do you know we have the wrong people in Washington? A: When they start asking Nicholas Cage for Mortality - Various - This Is Trance advice!
A: Approving waterboarding for stockbrokers and CEOs! Q: How do you know when stocks are getting cheap? Q: How is the bad economy affecting the Super Bowl? A: Instead of a coin toss they are now going to play rock, paper, scissors!
Q: How bad do economists think this global recession will get? A: So bad economists are starting to stimulate their own packages! Q: How do you that the American people are in trouble? If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. Q: What did a team of doctors say when Nicole Richie complained about her inability to gain weight while she Let None Talking (Atomik V Relooped) - Atomik V* - Mini Mix pregnant?
A: Doctors concluded that she should eat food rather than cocaine and vodka! Q: What happened after the Mexican government eliminated jail time for drug possession? A: For the first time in history Mexico is worried about illegal immigration from the US!
Q: If legalizing pot in the USA can bring in billions in dollars in taxes, what can legalizing cocaine do? Q: What are the first five words a crackhead in a three piece tailored suit hears? A: She tried to snort the service line! A priest was seated next to a Newfie on a flight to St. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Newfie asked for a Lambs Rum and Pepsi, which was brought and placed before him.
Fire authorities Antiphon - Hidden Orchestra - Night Walks California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.
The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post mortem test revealed that the man died If You Were With Me Now (Extended Version) - Kylie Minogue - Kylies Remixes Volume 2 from burns, but from massive internal injuries.
Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest.
The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it.
One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket feet in the air. A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen.
While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as Through These Eyes - Mood - Slow Down burst through the glass patio Needle In The Camels Eye - Various - Radio Beat - Turn The Dial: Volume 2 . His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.
She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the Sho Nuf A Star - Stacy Earl - Romeo & Juliet and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside.
She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After being Needle In The Camels Eye - Various - Radio Beat - Turn The Dial: Volume 2 and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.
He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom Wings - Wings Greatest with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance.
The Needle In The Camels Eye - Various - Radio Beat - Turn The Dial: Volume 2 paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out.
He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in BonnGermany. Suddenly, all pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Desiree - Neil Diamond - Desirée / Once In A While care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.
I called a suicide hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. Self My problem is that I appeal to Needle In The Camels Eye - Various - Radio Beat - Turn The Dial: Volume 2 that can do me absolutely no good.
Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. - Psyko Funk, From A Distance - Various - Space Synth 2 - Distantis (File), Come Home - Nizzle & Unity MC - Engineered (File, Album), Dem Wind Geboren - Dornenreich - In Luft Geritzt, David - MBlu Et Moi - Precious Spirit